I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Blood and glitter go together right?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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