I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
