I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
