He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
