pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
