I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
