A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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