What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
