KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
