Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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