What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize