I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
