Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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