what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
