Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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