what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Randomize
