He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
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