If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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