He is an equal opportunity slut.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
