remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
