the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize