I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
