do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize