therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
