he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
