Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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