2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
