I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
