I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
