i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
