Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
