Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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