I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
This baby is an asshole
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
