everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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