I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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