My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
