Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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