She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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