dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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