I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Randomize
