Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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