My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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