my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I wish they made helmets for livers.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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