i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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