She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize