I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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