Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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