I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Holy sore nipples Batman
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize