I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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