drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
