My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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