We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize