I showed him my bush... on skype.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
