you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
