they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
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