Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
