break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
