You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
