even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
soo... how was my night?
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