...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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