Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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