The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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