So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
