ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
